You know, I created this blog a little less than a year ago - after a pretty heart wrenching break up with Irch. I wasn't sure who I was anymore then, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with myself, and I wasn't sure how I was ever going to keep going.
Over the past 11 months since then, I have moved home, I been job searching tirelessly, I have continued trucking along on that grad school application I've been working on for years, I have been making friends, I have been going out, I have been learning about myself, I have been enjoying life, I have been discovering and loving and learning.
I think I can safely say now that I am my own person.
Yes I still miss Irch from time to time, but not in that 'I wish he would take me back' sort of way, and not even in that 'I miss my friend' sort of way either. We still maintain contact, though no where near the way we used to. He is still some one important in my life - but he is not my life.
But now I feel confident that I can move on, I can do the things I want to without having something in the back of my mind thinking about him.
I have a pretty good group of friends here in town, who know me - the real me, and I can talk to them when I need to and we laugh and tease and play and have fun together. I am still single, but it's not some terrible thing anymore, I'm ok with being single and I'm enjoying the things that come along with it.
And I am enjoying the chance to live a life on my own for once.
And that was the point of this blog. To move from that place of utter dejection and hurt, to move past a place where I could only see hurt and pain.
And I think over the past year or so, I have managed that. I feel good on my own, and I feel happy and excited to see where this year is going to take me.
So I'm not sure if I'm going to keep writing or not - I know I've been pretty sparse recently, but I've been going through the business of living. I'm sure to pop my head in from time to time, but for the most part I am done.
Maybe when there is something new and exciting going on I'll stop by and let you know. I want to thank everyone who has been reading with me and offering support and love over this past year. It's been good to know I haven't been alone, it's been comforting to know there are people out there who cared about me when things fell apart.
And I just wanted to take the time to say thank you, and let you know I'm living.
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Starting Over
- k
- "Gently did my soul / Put off her veil, and, self-transmuted, stood / Naked, as in the presence of her God"
5 comments:
Good luck, god bless and godspeed. Be well, live long and prosper.
I'm happy you realize where you've come to and where you've been. That's the journey and you've looked out the window - cool!
Awww keep writing, it still might help as you process new things? At least it's nice to have people along on the journey with you?
Thanks for the reassurance - in your tone even more than in your words. And I do hope you keep these pages open for when you get that occasional urge for contemplation.
o.g.
I was filled with sorrow about your breakup with your Master. Event though I am only a Second Life Master, I believe firmly that a Master must love, cherish, and comfort his submissives. I think you Master fell down on this.
please forge ahead. Let this pain support you, rather than drag you down. You'll find another Master in due time, one who will take his duties seriously.
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