What I meant to say...

I got a little side tracked when I wrote last, I had intended to write on a more narrow subject last time and ended up being swept of into the land of the general. Today though I will make an attempt at this more narrowly focused point I had been trying to make then.

First a few facts:

I am twenty-six years old for just another month.
I live in Texas.
I have three younger siblings.
I live with my mother.
I have a near inappropriate love of words and putting them together.
My favorite color is green.
I'm only just learning how to really wear make up.
I listen to songs on repeat constantly.
I hate thunderstorms.
I am stupidly shy in person.

I could go on, but I think for the moment that is enough. All small things really, all part of the whole that is me.

One thing about me that I've been discovering recently is the idea of gender.

I just find it interesting, that so much of our lives we define simply by anatomy that we had no choice over. Our clothing options, or job options, our place in society, the amount of money we make in our professional lives, the amount of privilege with which we view the world. All of these things influenced by whether or not you have a cunt or a dick.

I'm starting to see it all as a much more fluid thing when it comes to the person that is me.

I don't feel like the idea of being a girl really covers all that I am any more than I feel like the idea of being a boy fits either. There are bits from both that can be applied to me. There are days when I feel far more feminine than others and days where I'm much more masculine. There are days where I am in love with my tits and my cunt and there are days where I really fucking wish I had a dick. And I've never felt the need to adhere to strict ideas about what a person ought to wear.

I'm just me, and I don't feel like I need to be defined by gender. I think it's something that plenty of people are happy to apply to themselves, and it's something that plenty of people fight with. It's just kind of there for me - it's not important to the whole that I am.