Throughout my life, I've always been the good child. I did my homework and got it turned in on time, I was a girl scout all the way through high school, I spent time with the grown ups rather than running around screaming with the rest of the kids.
I've always felt more at home with the quieter pursuits of my time. I like things like reading, and writing - I feel most comfortable in those sorts of places.
This summer has been about moving myself outside of my comfort zones.
It started with craigslist, because well I didn't know about anything else. I actually met 2 men through craigslist. And both were very much outside of my comfort zone - but I found that I enjoyed it. It was a bit of a rush, meeting someone new, doing something so completely out of character like that.
I had one of the most frank conversations of my adult life with a man I met through craigslist - He and I still talk in emails, though we haven't gotten around to spending more time together.
And now these days I've joined fetlife, and I've meet even more people. People who are funny and charming and surprisingly very easy to spend time with. And I've enjoyed my time with them very much.
But I'm the quiet one, even with all these new experiences and new steps I've been taking I'm still the shy quiet girl I always was - just maybe a little braver than I used to be. I don't want to feel like I am becoming something other than myself.
And it's nice to see that so far, I've been able to do that, with a very real sense of myself while trying all these new things. And it's just confirmation that these things I desire and fantasize about they're all part of me they're just waiting to be realized - and that's sort of exciting.
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