Snapshot #2

"Do you think if I told you to suck my cock, you would?" He looked at me expectantly.

The question had come out of the blue. We were talking about something else completely and it caught me off guard. "I don't know."

"I don't know is not an answer."

'I don't know' is my fall back response. The thing I say when my thoughts get too complicated, when I don't want to admit to something I really do want, when I'm feeling embarrassed. Sometimes I say it before I've even had a chance to think through the question. It's almost an automatic response in some places.

"Do you think if I told you to suck my cock, right now, you would?"

"I think I probably would."

"I think you would too."

And just like that the thought was in my mind, stuck there - waiting - prodding at me every so often as we continued to talk. Because, I like that. I'll admit that it happens to be one of my favorite things to do.

That thought sat there, niggling in the back of mind, wondering if he was going to tell me to suck his cock. If it would be just another out of the blue moments, like his initial question. Or if it would come later, as part of something else.

'I don't know' came out of my mouth a lot more often after that question.